How to Judge Others Less: Accept Yourself as You Are

Most of us pass judgments on others that are not only ill conceived, but also ill supported, meaning that they have no real grounds to stand upon. When you judge someone else the only person you are ever truly judging is yourself, because whatever you see in them is a reflection of what is within you, and it may or may not truly exist within them at all.

For instance, if you are annoyed with someone because they are always late, perhaps what you are really annoyed with is your own inability to be anything other than early out of fear of what others might think or say about you. Conversely, if you are pleased with someone else’s punctuality, what you are truly pleased with is how it reminds you of this quality within yourself. However, if you see someone as dishonest or lazy, ask yourself whether you have any evidence to support this, or if you are just making assumptions.

Clearly positive judgments are not as large of an issue, not unless it becomes such an egotistical perception of yourself that you can’t see anything else, but when you think about others negatively this creates conflict, because you will unconsciously resent them for the judgments you hold toward them, and your relationship with them will be anything but harmonious.

Accept Yourself As You Are

accept yourself as you are

The quickest way to stop yourself from having these judgments toward other people is to accept yourself as you are, because once you find self-acceptance you no longer see the negative aspects of other people because you no longer focus on them about yourself. This creates harmony, as you no longer feel the need to condescend and belittle them, which you certainly do while judging them whether you want to admit it or not.

Once you accept all of your imperfections you no longer have a need to judge others for theirs, seeing as you no longer project your own insecurities onto those around you. When we feel weak or unimportant, we tend to lash out and overcompensate by showing others how “strong” we really are, which is easily translated into attempting to hide how feeble we truly feel inside.

Once you have begun to accept yourself as you are it can be quite a long process before you accept yourself unconditionally, but not always. For some, simply knowing this will create such a dramatic shift inside of them, such a quantum leap, that they don’t even need to weed out all of the negative judgments they have about themselves and therefore other people.

Judge Others Less

judge others less

For the rest of us, we have to seek out and eradicate most of the negative perceptions we have in the moment, whether regarding others or ourselves, and reevaluate our thought process as to zero in on the limiting belief that is causing the judgment. For example, if you are judging yourself for working at a “dead end job” this can most likely be traced back to an inner feeling that you are not capable of anything else, which is not true!

Some of you might have certain judgments about other people working in jobs you perceive in this way, thinking you are somehow better than them because you have a “more meaningful” job that contributes in a more impactful way. While this may be true, your judgment is not, and can most likely be boiled down to an inner feeling that you do not contribute as much as you should be doing, or able to do.

You see, the way to stop your judgments is to catch yourself in moment of having one and then ask yourself, “Why do I feel this way?” or “What limiting belief is causing me to think like this?” Doing so will literally put you on the path toward having no judgments toward yourself, therefore those around you. If you don’t judge yourself it is impossible to judge others, just like love. If you truly loved yourself you would love everyone else unconditionally, because there would be no illusory idealism for them to live up to.

For anyone interested in learning more about accepting yourself as you are, check out my new book Holistic Health in the Modern Age, where you will learn how to make healthier decisions on a daily basis that will ultimately help you to have less judgments toward yourself and therefore other people.

If you gained value from this post please like and share it, and feel free to leave any methods you know of to accept yourself as you are and judge others less.

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The 95% Rule

The 95% rule states that you can only ever achieve a goal if it is something you desire at least 95%. In this video learn how to utilize your own resources to achieve your wildest dreams. Enjoy!

If you like what you saw let us know by sharing, liking, and commenting below, and as always, for more on living a more fulfilling, healthy life, check out my new book Holistic Health in the Modern Age and learn how to live up to your highest potential.

3 Ways to Quiet an Overactive Mind

It has been said that we as human beings have roughly 60,000 conscious thoughts in a single day, most of which are unconscious, meaning that they are so highly influenced by neurological processes beyond our control that we don’t actually choose what to think.

Whether you buy into that or not, the fact remains that most of our thinking is due to cultural programming, habitual at best. To the end of not sounding like too much of a cliche I won’t actually mention meditation in the meat of this post, but it is something anyone can benefit from as long as they are willing to actually give it a try.

1. Stop taking your thoughts so seriously

stop taking your thoughts so seriously

“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it,” Aristotle

Many people have such negative thought patterns that they end up judging and berating themselves internally, and sometimes even externally, leading to more guilt and even more suffering. When you can entertain a thought without accepting it, this gives room for reprieve from self-defeating thinking patterns.

When you have a thought that is either against yourself or someone else, such as “I’m such a loser,” or “I’d like to take it out in him,” you have to admit its pretty silly to think such things. I mean, are you really a loser, or is that just something someone once said to you that you bought into?

2. Observe your thoughts, don’t buy into them

observe your thoughts

 

This is clearly along the same lines of not taking your thoughts so seriously, although more of not allowing yourself to be sucked into them. Imagine a thought that randomly pops into your head like a dog catching the scent of a bone. Once the dog (your mind) has caught the scent (the thought) it is swept away, much like you are after you have allowed yourself to become lost in your muse.

This often looks like starting to think about what you would like to eat for dinner, mentally picturing the restaurants you might visit, perhaps. Then you think about how bad traffic is going to be getting there, and on and on, until you end up, like most people, thinking about how crappy their life is and they how they wish it would change.

3. Flow with your thoughts, just don’t drift off

flow with your thoughts

So, how do you find balance between going with the flow of your thoughts and not allowing them to take you away to somewhere you are not (here and now). Living in the present moment is a beautiful thing, but we can’t do it all the time. How else are you going to decide which restaurant to go to, without contemplating it first?

Once you have a thought, catch yourself in the act, allow the thought to come to fruition, and then focus again on the present moment. Sound a little like meditation? It should, because according to the most renowned spiritual leaders life itself is a meditation, and the more you bring your awareness to what is happening around you the more you will enjoy each and every moment of your life.

I hope you enjoyed what you read today, and if you did feel free to like, comment, and share below!

Fore more tips and tricks on how to live in the present moment and quiet your overactive mind, check out my book Holistic Health in the Modern Age, in which you can learn all about becoming more aware and expanding your life’s potential.

10 Ways to Win the Game of Life

1. Realize it’s just a game

it's just a game

Bill Hicks, one of the greatest comedians of all time, said, “Life is just a ride” meaning that “reality” as we know it is not as real or tangible as our minds believe it to be. I mean, think about it, everything, including matter, is merely energetic strings vibrating at different frequencies to make up this “physical” reality we perceive.

Hicks also said that, “Matter is energy condensed to a slow vibration.” Seeing as matter is energy (E=mc²) this one is not hard to figure out. Basically what I’m getting at is that life is a ride, or a game, however you want to look at it, and we need to stop taking ourselves so seriously. Loosen up and enjoy life a little bit. You’ll be glad you did.

2. Learn to speed read

Since you’re taking the time to read this I’m going to assume that you read on a daily basis. Regardless of whether you do or not, increasing your reading speed is a very useful tool, because when you do read it will cut back your time dramatically, which will free up your time for other things.

If you’re interested in this check out this blog post, How to Read 300% Faster in 20 Minutes, which I can honestly say works at least two thirds as well as it claims. It doubled my reading speed in about 20 minutes (right around 23 minutes) but I’m guessing that as I continue to use the techniques my words per minute count will continue to rise.

3. Meditate

meditate

I realize how much I mention meditation on my blog a lot, which is the only reason this isn’t higher on the list, but I cannot stress enough how important it is, but don’t take my word for it. Once they start meditating, many people notice a difference within a couple of weeks, that is, once they’ve found one that is effective for them.

The thing about meditation is that there is no one-size-fits-all technique. This I also cannot stress enough. I used to think that transcendental meditation was the only technique worth while, and although I still use it everyday, exploring other methods has increased the effectiveness of my meditation exponentially.

4. Drink more purified water

Your body is 75% water, and if that is not enough to convince you of your body’s need for constant replenishment of the number one molecule in your entire body, perhaps this article is: 34 Proven Ways Water May Make Your Awesome. My favorite one is number 6: it can improve your mood.

That’s right everything down to what you drink and eat can affect your state of mind. Which leads me to why it must be purified water: the flouride they add to the water supply, at least here in America, is very harmful to your body and your mind.

5. Count chemicals, not calories

count chemicals not calories

Chemicals of all kinds are found not only in our water, but in our food (processed, genetically modified, and pesticide covered) and even in our toothpaste, soap, deodorant, anything that goes in or on our bodies, and they are causing things like cancer, Alzheimer’s, and many more.

Not to mention when you are eating things that don’t contain artificial ingredients it takes far less calorie counting to lose weight. Don’t get me wrong, it often makes counting calories more difficult, because adding flavor means adding more ingredients, which means more number crunching, but the benefits are endless.

6. Move your body

If you’ve read my ebook Holistic Health in the Modern Age you know how important staying active is, but for those who haven’t, if you are constantly sitting or standing, for a job or in front of the television for example, you are literally killing yourself slowly, so get up off the couch and move around!

Now, of course I’m being overdramatic and we’re all killing ourselves slowly in one way or another, i.e. smoking or maintaining high stress levels, what have you, but if you live a sedentary life chances are you are not only taking years off of your physical existence, but your state of mind is also suffering as well.

7. Learn NLP

learn nlp

Neuro linguistic programming, or NLP, recognizes the connections between neurological processes, language, and behavioral patterns learned through experience. Put simply, by changing the physiology of your nervous system, your thinking and speech patterns, any behavior you wish to change about yourself becomes possible.

This is far from the only utilization of NLP, however. Other uses include: building rapport with people, motivating or influencing them to do things they normally wouldn’t on their own, such as in marketing or recruiting. Essentially NLP is about changing the body’s automatic responses to stimuli and replacing them with new ones.

8. Find your passion

If you don’t know your purpose yet, you’ve got to find out why you are here to win the game of life! As Tony Robbins would say, if you don’t know your outcome, how can you accomplish it? If you don’t know your destination, how can you get there?

Finding what really drives you in career or business, emotionally, in your relationships, all areas of life, is crucial to being happy, which, let’s face it, that’s all there really is to winning this game we all play whether we want to admit it or not. Think about it, if you’re not happy, is anything else even worth it?

9. Feed your dreams, starve your fears

feed your dreams starve your fears

Once you know your purpose in life, you can begin to dream again, like you did when you were a child. If your purpose is to make people happy, then find whatever it is you do best that accomplishes that dream, and make sure you are having fun while you are doing it.

Pay attention to what makes you feel good when you think about it, like starting your own business or taking up painting, whatever makes you happy, and stop worrying to much about what could go wrong, what might or might not happen. Instead focus on the things that make you get up in the morning.

10. Count your blessings

You have so much more to be thankful for than you realize. If you aren’t too terribly cold, wet, or hungry, as the saying goes, you are more blessed than over 80% of the population who live off of less than $10 per day. This should be staggering but it should also invoke gratitude for the life you were given.

If you are reading this, chances are you do not fall into that 80% and if that is true, then you have more to be thankful for than you may ever know. Count your blessings and winning at the game of life becomes a piece of cake. Personally I notice a vast difference in all aspects of my life based on how much gratitude I express daily.

I hope this post was truly insightful and inspiring. If so, feel free to comment, like, and share below. For more tips on how to win the game of life, check out my ebook Holistic Health in the Modern Age, and learn how to make healthier decisions to live a happier, more fulfilling life.

The Music of Life

music of life

Life can be thought of as a symphony or an orchestra, with each one of us playing our own part in the cosmic opus, if you will. The word universe when broken down (uni: one, verse: song) can be translated into music and harmonics along with everything else. Seeing that everything is vibration, its all just a matter of tuning into a particular frequency and shifting one’s vibration to match (or harmonize with) a desired result or experience (melody).

Like everything each one of us has a particular rhythm we are adding to the overall texture of the song we are both composing and performing simultaneously. The flow of life is coursing through our veins in a specific key, which can change at any given time, so keep up! Times are changing and who knows the beat might suddenly speed up or slow down and the tempo may even change from time to time.

I realize I am using a lot of metaphors here, but that’s the point. This is my own little addition to the timbre that is my perception of reality, my particular voice as it stands out from all the rest all the while mixing and melding into the symphony we are all playing.

The Flow of Life

flow of life

Now, as I mentioned the elements that make up our lives are always changing, ebbing and flowing, nothing in this universe is static or stagnant, so unless you are shifting along with it, or going with the flow as some people say, you are both swimming up stream and getting left behind, which is most likely why you feel unhappy, if and when you do.

That’s right, all unhappiness comes from moving toward stagnation, caused by resisting the flow of life. Many of us have a particular picture in our heads about how and what our lives are meant to look like at every stage along the way, and when they don’t end up looking exactly like how we pictured them, which is almost always the case, then we get stuck on the image of perfection we saw and no longer live in the moment.

When you can let go of how you think things should be, just allow whatever happens to happen, and then decide what to do about it with composure, that is when all things align and you begin to attract experiences that are in tandem with the way your heart truly knows are for your best interest and serving your highest potential.

So, go with the flow, stay in the moment, and appreciate everything that comes your way, because when you start to count your blessing instead of your trials, when you feed your dreams instead of your fears, then everything falls into place and you start to see the bigger picture of the unified scale composed of each of the chords we all play alongside one another.

Living in Harmony

living in harmony

How well we harmonize is clearly determined by how consonant or dissonant our synergy is, or how our energies resonate with one another. This is also known as rapport, which is not always determined by whether we actually like someone or not, though they tend to go hand-in-hand. When you have a gut feeling about someone that is your biological system responding to the energetic interaction between the two of you.

The more aligned you are with your true purpose, the part you were born to play, the better we all connect with each other and the better our counterpoints are blended together in consonance, though this doesn’t mean we should try to avoid dissonance. Conflict and disagreements are good, when handled cordially and respectfully. Too many of us are afraid of conflict. If this sounds like you, try reading my post Shed Your Fear of Conflict.

Here are a few tips to begin composing a more pleasant melody to add to the overall texture of the music of life: meditation, daily exercise, eating a nutritional, balanced diet, following your true passion in life, contributing to society in a meaningful way, loving yourself and others unconditionally, and last but not least listening to amazing music that moves your soul.

For more on mastering art of composing the music of life, check out my ebook Holistic Health in the Modern Age, and learn how to live healthier and have a much happier existence.

The Secret to Making the Impossible Possible

Zig Ziglar said, “Positive thinking will not let you do anything, but it will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.” Although I appreciate the intent behind his words, I respectfully disagree. Personally I know that anything is possible, because I have done things that others would say are impossible.

In high school I was a part of a football team that won the state championship three out of the four years I attended. My senior year we played a team that beat us during the season that same year and the year before, but when we walked out onto the field one last time together we were a different team than they had faced before. We were at the end of an otherwise impeccable season and our positive momentum was so strong there was no way we were going to lose that game.

It really was quite a shock to the other team when we won. They were not ready for us, totally focused on the past results and just expecting to walk all over us, even though both of their wins against us ended with merely two and three point margins between scores. We came out expecting to win too, but the difference is we knew who we were up against and acknowledged that we were facing a real opponent.

making the impossible possible

The Secret

So, what is the secret to making the impossible possible? What did we do differently the last time we played our rivals? The secret is we knew that it would be difficult, so the first step is to recognize that your journey will not be easy, that you will have setbacks along the way.

Second, we kept our strategy versatile, meaning that the second step is to stay flexible, knowing that you are going to fail over and over again before you succeed, but you have to stay determined, dedicating yourself to making your dreams a reality, which is step three. We devoted ourselves to being the state champions and made this dream a reality be sheer will.

Throughout middle school the class I played with lost most of our games, winning only one our eighth grade year I think, but when we hit high school something shifted inside of us and although we were playing the same teams we were now blowing them out with scores of 50 to 0. This is not an exaggeration.

What changed? Our mindsets. Which is the fourth and final step of creating the impossible: believing that you can. We were out there facing the same opponents and within no more a years time we had become Knights, which was our mascot, instead of Squires. In the movie Kingdom of Heaven the Patriarch of Jerusalem asks Balian of Ibelin,” Does making a man a knight make him a better fighter?” to which he answers concisely, “Yes.”

Creating the Impossible

Croix Sather, motivational speaker and author, did something that many people told him was impossible. He ran all the way across America, starting on the west coast and ending in New York, running 26 miles a day for 100 consecutive days. This very article was inspired by a TED Talk he gave discussing his journey and what he learned along the way. Here is the video:

Anyway, I want to finish with a bit of inspiration myself. In 1954 Roger Bannister broke the 4 minute mile, running it in three minutes and fifty nine seconds. Since then over 400 athletes have broken this same barrier. If he was the first person to do so, why has it become so much more common? Is it the advances we have made in technology and science enabling more people to push themselves to new levels of success?

Perhaps it is, but I would suggest another possibility. I think what enabled more than 400 individuals to hurdle the obstacle was the power of belief. They knew that it was possible because it had been done before, so the pep in their step—pun intended—was driven by the pathway that had been laid out by one man who made his dream a reality.

But how did Bannister do it? What drove him to be able to accomplish something that had been impossible until that very moment? His power of belief; he trained not only his body but his mind to be able to run a mile in under four minutes. It is a known fact that professional athletes utilize the power of their imaginations to visualize their success for years before they ever accomplish their goals. Bannister was among them, and he literally made the impossible possible.

Nelson Mandela said, “It always seems impossible until it’s done.”

Make it a great day everyone, and remember, nothing is impossible unless you believe that it is. Always pursue your dreams, because if you don’t, someone else will hire you to pursue theirs, to paraphrase Tony Gaskins Jr.

For more on how to create positive results in your life, check out my new book Holistic Health in the Modern Age, and learn how to make healthier decisions that lead not only to a healthier life, but a happier, more productive one.

If you gained insight from this post feel free to like it below, and feel free to share any stories of how you made the impossible possible.

Have the Ideal State of Mind in Any Situation

How the Brain Works

how the brain works

Many people truly have no idea how to alter their brain waves, but the truth is its much easier than most of us think it is to alter your state of consciousness, therefore your brain wave pattern. In neuroscience there is a saying that says,”The mind is what the brain does,” and assuming this is true your state of mind is determined by the particular frequencies and intensities of your brain waves as well as where they are located within your skull.

For instance, if you are thinking more visually most of your neural activity is taking place in the visual cortex within the occipital lobe, or near the back of the brain, and if you are thinking more auditorily than it is in the auditory cortex in the temporal love, or near the middle of the brain.

Moreover, if you are fully alert and focused you are likely experiencing beta brain waves, whereas alpha waves are more along the lines of relaxed awareness or contemplation. These are merely generalizations and the only way to truly know what state you are in is through neuroimaging such as MRI or EEG, but you can take a pretty accurate internal assessment using biofeedback.

Assessing Your State of Mind

assessing your state of mind

Biofeedback uses the body’s natural resources to get a depiction of your state of mind, or brain wave state. To do this assess your heart rate, breathing pattern, and the way you are thinking at any given moment. If your breathing is quick and shallow that is a tell tale sign that you are in a beta state, whereas slower, deeper breaths are related to alpha or theta brain waves, as well as delta, but these are generally only present during sleep.

The reason this works is because the autonomic nervous system (ANS), the part of the peripheral nervous system (PNS), that controls internal organs such as the heart and lungs, is controlled by your reaction to both internal and external stimuli, in other words what you are thinking or outwardly perceiving. It also regulates the endocrine system, which in turn gives us even more information about our state of consciousness through biofeedback.

The reason all of this is important is because knowing how the body and brain works is vital to recognizing what brain waves you are experiencing, therefore your state of mind. If your heart rate is up, meaning you are likely in a beta state, do you think that is ideal for giving a presentation? Unless the presentation is motivational in nature or perhaps for advertising purposes, chances are your ideal state is alpha or more relaxed.

Successful athletes are adept at getting into the ideal state of mind. When you step onto the court, the field, mat, or wherever your sport is played, depending on whether its a contact sport or not, fast paced or relaxed, do you think beta would be the best state to be in? Perhaps, but then again maybe alpha is what’s necessary.

In an alpha state we are operating on more automatic responses than conscious thought. Does this not sound ideal for a football player waiting for the ball to be snapped or a golfer attempting to sink a put for par? How about when an artist is trying to come up with a creative idea? Actually theta waves are generally correlative to creativity.

Controlling Your State of Mind

controlling your state of mind

When it comes to your mind it is crucial to be able to manipulate your brain waves to be in the ideal state at any given time. How do you do this? By doing or focusing on things that put you in the state you ideally wish to be in. If you are looking for a beta state try breathing a little shallower, raising your heart rate; this will quickly put you in a beta state, or maybe you could watch a motivational video. Whatever makes your heart race and your breathing quicken will usually put you in a beta state.

Alpha states are a little harder but still pretty easy to reach. Powerful music that isn’t too fast or exciting can easily put you in an alpha state. Anything that makes you contemplative and relax slightly will do this. Theta waves are easy to generate as well. Deep relaxation is a theta state. Meditation, deep breathing, often closing your eyes will create a theta state. Whatever clears your mind and relaxes your body deeply is likely creating theta waves.

Remember the mind is what the brain does, and since we know the brain controls the functions of the body, keeping track of what your body is doing will help you determine what state you are in. You should enter each situation with a clean slate, so to speak, so try taking three slow, deep breaths, or perhaps fast and shallow, depending on what state you are seeking, and be conscious of where you are and where you would like to be.

Remaining present in your body will keep you grounded in the moment and aware of what state you are in as well as the environment around you. Keep this in mind and you will be the master of your own state of mind in no time.

I hope you enjoyed this post and gained some powerful insight. If so, feel free to like and share, and let us all know about any of your favorite activities that allow you to reach the ideal state of mind in any given situation.