Most of us pass judgments on others that are not only ill conceived, but also ill supported, meaning that they have no real grounds to stand upon. When you judge someone else the only person you are ever truly judging is yourself, because whatever you see in them is a reflection of what is within you, and it may or may not truly exist within them at all.
For instance, if you are annoyed with someone because they are always late, perhaps what you are really annoyed with is your own inability to be anything other than early out of fear of what others might think or say about you. Conversely, if you are pleased with someone else’s punctuality, what you are truly pleased with is how it reminds you of this quality within yourself. However, if you see someone as dishonest or lazy, ask yourself whether you have any evidence to support this, or if you are just making assumptions.
Clearly positive judgments are not as large of an issue, not unless it becomes such an egotistical perception of yourself that you can’t see anything else, but when you think about others negatively this creates conflict, because you will unconsciously resent them for the judgments you hold toward them, and your relationship with them will be anything but harmonious.
Accept Yourself As You Are
The quickest way to stop yourself from having these judgments toward other people is to accept yourself as you are, because once you find self-acceptance you no longer see the negative aspects of other people because you no longer focus on them about yourself. This creates harmony, as you no longer feel the need to condescend and belittle them, which you certainly do while judging them whether you want to admit it or not.
Once you accept all of your imperfections you no longer have a need to judge others for theirs, seeing as you no longer project your own insecurities onto those around you. When we feel weak or unimportant, we tend to lash out and overcompensate by showing others how “strong” we really are, which is easily translated into attempting to hide how feeble we truly feel inside.
Once you have begun to accept yourself as you are it can be quite a long process before you accept yourself unconditionally, but not always. For some, simply knowing this will create such a dramatic shift inside of them, such a quantum leap, that they don’t even need to weed out all of the negative judgments they have about themselves and therefore other people.
Judge Others Less
For the rest of us, we have to seek out and eradicate most of the negative perceptions we have in the moment, whether regarding others or ourselves, and reevaluate our thought process as to zero in on the limiting belief that is causing the judgment. For example, if you are judging yourself for working at a “dead end job” this can most likely be traced back to an inner feeling that you are not capable of anything else, which is not true!
Some of you might have certain judgments about other people working in jobs you perceive in this way, thinking you are somehow better than them because you have a “more meaningful” job that contributes in a more impactful way. While this may be true, your judgment is not, and can most likely be boiled down to an inner feeling that you do not contribute as much as you should be doing, or able to do.
You see, the way to stop your judgments is to catch yourself in moment of having one and then ask yourself, “Why do I feel this way?” or “What limiting belief is causing me to think like this?” Doing so will literally put you on the path toward having no judgments toward yourself, therefore those around you. If you don’t judge yourself it is impossible to judge others, just like love. If you truly loved yourself you would love everyone else unconditionally, because there would be no illusory idealism for them to live up to.
For anyone interested in learning more about accepting yourself as you are, check out my new book Holistic Health in the Modern Age, where you will learn how to make healthier decisions on a daily basis that will ultimately help you to have less judgments toward yourself and therefore other people.
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